Allow me to introduce myself. I am Shannon DiBiasi. I am a mother of one little boy & stepmother of 2 teenager daughters.
I have been in my step kids’ lives for the past 5 years and every year around Mother’s Day I find it interesting how my role in their lives is handled.
I remember my first Mother’s Day in their lives I didn’t expect anything and WHY SHOULD I? I wasn’t their Mother. I was their dad’s girlfriend & I had only known them for a few months. But the girls made a little gift for me and said “Happy Girlfriend’s Day.” It was the cutest! So very thoughtful of these girls.
However, I remember the following year clearly. Again, I wasn’t expecting ANYTHING but I was now in the kids’ lives for almost two years. I lived with them. I clearly knew where my role in their lives was headed.
We were at a Mother’s Day party that year and someone was handing out gifts and cards to all the mothers and I didn’t receive anything. Not even a thanks for everything you do.
It really hurt me. I lived with these kids. I picked them up from school, I helped them with their homework, I made sure we did fun activities on the weekend and I also was there to discipline them but also cheer them on when they needed it.
I know I am not their mother and I NEVER WILL be but I was working my butt off to make sure these kids were happy when they were with us and it wasn’t acknowledged.
Being a blended family is HARD WORK. There is nothing easy about it. As a stepparent, you willingly chose to accept children into your life and love them with every inch of your being even though you did not bring them into this world. You make scarifies for them & watch them grow.
Just like a regular parent, you experience ups and down. You have most likely heard nasty comments and a child has definitely said to you, “Why should I listen to. you, YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!”
You make an effort every day to make sure these kids are okay and provide for them when they are with you.
I was hurt that not one person at that party acknowledged my role or the fact that I was trying my hardest.
That’s why I think it’s important that we all acknowledge the stepparents that are present. If you know a stepmother this year, tell her she is amazing! Tell her you admire her efforts and the fact that is she trying to show up for these children.
A lot of people don’t know this but there is actually a stepmother day! May 19th is the day this year to tell a stepmom that she is killing it! What is great is it doesn’t fall on Mother’s Day so you have a day to celebrate both amazing women!
But hands down, I think it’s important that we still acknowledge and support these women. You may not know it but chances are they are losing some sort of battle and they could use the kind words.
