It was just two months after we got married in Colorado when we found out that my husband’s company was relocating him to Arizona. We have fallen in love with Arizona, and I’m grateful that we got the opportunities that have allowed me to call Arizona home, but the last almost seven years have presented their own challenges with us raising two kiddos away from any family. Here are 5 things I’ve learned from not having family near.
- Find people you trust and give them a house key. This one makes sense emotionally and logistically. Parenthood is hard and it’s important to have a support system around you. I’m grateful for the friends that have turned into family over the years, and I’m also extremely grateful for friends were around to rescue us when my toddler locked us out of the house (and none of us had any shoes on). If you’re new to an area, especially, it won’t happen overnight, but it’s important to find the people who you can call when things get tough.
- Find an amazing babysitter (or two!) Just because Grandma isn’t nearby, it doesn’t mean that you don’t need date nights. Finding a babysitter (or several) is essential. Ask people around the neighborhood if they know anyone who babysits, talk to your friends at church, make a post in your local East Valley Mom’s Blog Neighborhood page, or ask your co-workers. There are still lots of amazing teenagers around who love babysitting and it’s important to have people you can call when you and your hubby have scheduling conflicts or when you just need a night out. Bonus tip: find a gym with childcare too. When you just need an hour to yourself, it’s amazing to have a place that the kids love that you can safely drop them off and take some self-care time.
- Plan the year, and communicate what’s important to you. Over the past few years, we have gotten into a bit of a routine for when family visits, and it’s been really nice. We usually see my folks in December to celebrate my Mom’s Birthday and Christmas and we usually see my husband’s family for New Year’s. We always celebrate my father-in-law’s birthday in September with their family, and we try to see my family each Spring. Of course, we get other trips and visits scheduled, but it’s nice having an outline. Talk to your family in different states and ask them what holidays or events are the most important. Share with them what holidays or events are most important to you and start planning.
- Don’t be afraid to travel with kids & be savvy with saving for trips. Both our boys have gotten pretty used to airplane travel and road trips. I flew to Colorado to visit my family alone with my two-year-old and my six-week-old. It felt crazy at the time, but we survived and that trip had so many special memories. #WorthIt. We have a Southwest Airlines credit card and we earn miles for everything we buy which makes it easier for us to afford airplane tickets.
- Remind yourself that you can do hard things. There have been several things that we have thought about shying away from because it’s harder when you don’t have a few sets of extra hands. Would our camping trips be easier with grandma and grandpa? Absolutely. Do we survive just the four of us? Yes, absolutely. The sick days when the world is crashing in and there’s no one else to hand baby off to? It won’t last forever, I promise.
I’ll end this blog off by saying that family is important and that we are SO lucky to have two sets of amazing grandparents in our boys’ lives. My parents and my husband’s parents have gone out of their way time and time again over the last five years to be a part of births, birthday parties, holidays and everything in between. I recognize and appreciate so much that we have that. But, I also know how challenging it can be not to have anyone nearby. Remember that you’re not alone.
