Thoughts from a “Free Range” Mama

I am what some may call a “free-range” mom, I may actually cause extreme stress to other mamas who follow things like “structure” and “order”.

I have often a messy house. My hair is guaranteed to be a mess and my kid’s hair… well if they didn’t brush it, neither did I. I value humor over good grades and it’s a miracle we are ever anywhere on time. (Am I stressing some of you out?) 

I have been a mom for 18 years now and have kids ranging from 18 – 4. I figure an empty nest will be one of those things we hear of, but may never actually experience.

It’s fine. 

What I have learned over these years as a more relaxed mama is letting your kids make a lot of choices (within boundaries of course) creates an independent kid/teen.

It can be as simple as dressing themselves. Picking out their hairstyle/hair cut. Or bigger choices like when we let our 10-year-old son (at the time) get his ears pierced and allowing our 15 years old choose to attend a different church than we do. 

It helps me not make as many decisions, as making choices for 5 kids all day, every day is exhausting. Sharing that burden helps me, and helping them work through indecision is a gift that will only help them as they get older.

They learn the consequences and take responsibility for choices made. Of course, I reiterate, that they are given boundaries to work within and I do value age appropriateness and there are hard rules that must be followed daily as a member of our family and the human race in general. But, I have watched our big kids grow and they always surprise me by their maturity and ability to handle the stresses of life in a way I don’t feel I was able to at such a young age.

Here is another cool thing I have learned from watching my friend’s kids grow big as well whom those mamas did rule with more structure and order, their kids are awesome too! They are well rounded and tend to look a little more put together (ha!) than mine. My point being, as long as you meet their needs from a tiny age, love them and respect them and teach them right from wrong as we naturally do as parents, they are going to grow up to be cool kids.

My best advice for the happiest kid on the block? Parent the way you feel most comfortable, be the happiest parent on the block.

If you need organization and order, do it.

If you need mayhem, let it fly.

We put too much pressure on parenting “the right way” and it turns out what is right for one mama might not be for the other, yet the end results can still be an awesome person.

Allow grace and keep on loving those cuties. They’ll be big way before you know it and you’ll be surprised how much you actually didn’t screw them up.