It has always been so important to me, even before being a parent or even getting married that my husband and I share our “adulting” load. I have watched time and time again that women who become mothers have to bear the mental load of raising a child and that working woman has to go home and then work a second shift.
Majority of women who enter the workforce also have to take care of everything at home while raising babies. The second shift is the shift that happens once a working woman gets home and has to also do her shift of motherhood, cleaning, cooking, taking care of all the children, and do all the things. On top of that couple’s marriages are greatly affected by this, with guilt and tension due to lack of communication and expectations of working together to share the load. I vowed to myself I would not have this be my life. That the husband I marry would be an equal partner in all areas of our life. Even if I ended up being a stay at home mom, my husband and I would share the load of being a parent. 
So many people ask me when I am out and about or traveling, who is watching Harper. Um hello… her Dad!!! However, I wouldn’t really consider it “watching her,” I would consider it, him being her dad, spending time with her, playing with her, doing dad and daughter things, just plain and simple being A PARENT.
If I can’t take a day off from work to go to her doctor’s class guess who is there taking time off from his work? Her daddy. If I for whatever reason can’t attend her music class with her, he goes in my place. If I can’t be home to put our daughter to bed, he is right there tucking her in. I sleep in on the weekends because he wakes up with her and does her morning routine.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We share the parent load together and make a great team! This is something that we have talked about from the very beginning of our relationship. That we would be equal partners in our life together. We both put in equal work into our relationship, finances, and careers. Now it wasn’t always easy as typing those words down, but this is something that we talked about VERY early on in our relationship, we also went through pre-marital counseling. Our counselor was so surprised that we already knew so much about each other’s expectations with one another. But this was years and years of talking and communicating and putting in lots of hard work to be on the same page. We still continue to put in lots of hard work to communicate effectively with another.
He understands that I have things I need to get done and things that are important to me to go to. He understands that my career is just as important to me as his career is to him. We understand we share parenting our daughter. We share our parent load because it is essential for our daughter to see her daddy involved in her daily routine and that it is equally important for her to see her mommy go after her goals and provide for our family too.
Don’t get me wrong (because I like to keep it 100% real), there are days, where the load is too much, my husband and I are far from perfect. I’ve learned to communicate what we need to do together to be the best parents we can each be to Harper. COMMUNICATION is Key!! And we have help from our amazing supportive parents when we both can’t be home with Harper, they help to take such good care of her.
The second shift does not need to fall squarely on women anymore. It is not all on just us mamas to think and do everything to raise our little humans to be and do good. Share the second shift!
