Often times I am sitting at the pick up area at our school and I can’t help but be an alert observer. I see all kinds of moms, from all different backgrounds, in all different types of cars, clothes…and I wonder, why has the world of mommies become so cliquish?
It has always irritated me when I felt I was making a new friend and then was introduced to their coveted circle, only to feel intimidated amongst their pool of inside jokes, plans that won’t include me because we don’t go out every single weekend, and most importantly their contempt for other moms outside their circle. I mean, what do they say about me when I’m not around?
It has always puzzled me why we can’t (pardon the cliche) all get along? I know I am not everyone’s cup of tea…I don’t drink. I don’t go to the gym, like ever. But I’m always kind, I defend myself when needed, so I’m strong, and I am ruthlessly loyal. I have my redeeming qualities. You don’t need to be my best bud, but that doesn’t leave the only option left…being a stranger. You can be my friend or acquaintance without bringing me into your circle. In fact, I prefer not to rest in a circle.
Don’t get me wrong, I have my group. The few that I call true friends, the ones that have been there for me. The ones who love my kids like their own. The ones who will always make me smile when I see them. But we let new members in. It’s not a VIP club that no one has access to. Although I’m sure we’d like to think it’s pretty exclusive.
I adore my friends BECAUSE they want to meet new people like I do. I was so pleased when I was at dinner with them last weekend and looked around the table at my preschool Mommy friends, interacting with my Elementary School Mommy friends, and they all got along beautifully. I introduced them only a year ago and they are all perfectly at ease with each other. We had a blast.
As I gaze around me I don’t see this acceptance all that often. There are definitely walls we all put up, yes, I have been guilty of it before too. But letting those walls down is often when we allow ourselves to meet the best people. We’re crazy to think the friends we have now are the ONLY friends we’re meant to have FOREVER. Yes I know those friends hold funny memories with us, lots of cutesy moments that new friends don’t. But those older friends were once new too. Just think if you hadn’t have given them a chance, where would you be now?
As my little boy starts Kindergarten I am excited for new friendships. For both of us. It’s scary to let new people in, sometimes intimidating….but I can tell you it’s worth it. I have met some new Mommies in our Kindergarten class and I love them all. I know my friends will too. Let’s rise up and abandon the circle — I hate geometry anyways don’t you?