I am a huge believer in “letting them be little”, but it turns out I am also a huge believer in letting them be big.
“Mom, hear me out before you say no”, our 16 year old daughter opens the conversation with. Immediately interested in what she is gonna ask I encourage her to continue. “What do you think about my friends (them Seniors, her a Junior) and me going to Disneyland for Fall break?”. Oh wow, I think…N.O. would be the easiest way around this one, but no wasn’t the first word that came to my mind. I was intrigued by her thoughts about the logistics of it. How much has she saved up? How much planning have they actually done? Would they be comfortable driving across state lines and into heavens to forbid California traffic?
She had plenty of money saved up from babysitting. She has never shown us a reason to not trust her. She plays a highly competitive sport that keeps her very busy, she does well in school and is a beloved babysitter in her “free time”. She is a trustworthy girl and we had no concerns with trusting her to make the right choices on a trip like this.
Do I trust the rest of my world with my girl, no. That’s where our hesitation set in. Yet I am also no stranger to the belief that we learn by our experiences and life lessons are our greatest teachers. Plus we raised a smart kid who senses danger, is smart with quick wits, who is secure socially and interacts with adults, probably better than peers so that helped in making this decision.
We decided to look into this a little further and see if we could make it happen.
First decision, to drive or not to drive. That was (and always is) the hardest decision. It just made sense though to drive and have a car instead of flying and taking an uber everywhere. The pact was that the 3 drivers would take shifts. This worked out really well with our daughter feeling the most comfortable handling the California roads.
Next, lodging. It’s hard to book a hotel with their ages, but what we were able to do is book an AirBnB. The check in was electronic and the place was safe and near Disney. Also so much more affordable with bringing their own food and snacks. We made it clear as crystal that they read the rules and follow each one. Every rental is different and made sure they were respectful to the property.
Last, trust! The girls texted at every stop on the way. We all breathed a sigh of relief when they got there and they gave us a tour of the place via facetime and then updated us with fun photos of them having the best day running Dinsey like it is meant to be run.
They drove home the next day and all of us parents marveled at the maturity of our girls and hugged them tight, having them safe back at home again where we all finally regulated our breathing. Because, parenting.
I was equally as proud of us parents for letting them go as we were of the girls for going. It was a first for all of us and we all made it unscathed. The girls learned a huge lesson in responsibility and self assurance and we learned what we already knew, these kids are ready for these next big steps that are coming if we like it or not.
Our story isn’t one size fits all. I am not sure our son will be capable of this in a couple years, maybe he will, maybe he won’t. But the most important thing is knowing what they are capable of. Knowing what they need a little push with and knowing where they need a full stop and wait.
Just like all parenting and all kids, no one is the same and each kid will have different challenges. This just worked out really well with our girls!
